I’m a chubby girl and I like to date “chubby chasers”. Now the following opinion is coming from myself and has been learned after years of being a chubby/fat woman and also being exposed to the BBW community and industry for a number of years.
To me a “chubby chaser” isn’t an FA (Fat Admirer)….
Totally in agreeance with you. People complaining about the messages they get, has been under my skin for a while (so I am going to focus mainly on that) Can everyone just take a chill pill? I personally have stopped following a lot of blogs because all that I ever see is a never ending cycle of negativity. They get an anon message (more often then not its anonymous) sometimes it is crude, objectifying, sometimes it is hateful, or triggering - but sometimes it is genuinely harmless, and it is someone paying you a compliment. I’m not saying be receptive to everyone who sends you a message… You don’t HAVE to like what the person is telling you. At the end of the day, what is calling someone out, being rude back, or shaming someone for a message they sent you, going to do? Nothing… because I see these blogs that continue to get similar messages, and give out similar responses, over and over.
I’ve had unwanted, or uncalled for messages sent to me - I get it… Who likes that kind of attention? Here’s an idea - Turn off your anonymous message setting. I did a long time ago because it just wasn’t worth my time to even read half of them. I didn’t want that sort of negativity on my blog. I don’t give them the opportunity to even send me those messages anymore because answering them saying “I don’t appreciate this type of message, please stop” didn’t stop them from flooding my inbox.
People use the excuse of “I don’t want to take of anonymous settings because I have followers who aren’t comfortable with them knowing who they are, and I want to respect that”… Then you have to understand that you have to take the good with the bad. Acknowledge the people who have said something kind, and nice to you - and delete the unwanted messages, or politely answer them back privately.
If someone feels a message, or comment they got was “creepy” - What do you expect? This is the internet. You have chosen to put a piece of yourself out there, left exposed to be judged, admired, objectified, etc.. by perfect strangers. I wish this were a perfect little world where everyone was respectful of everyone… but it isn’t, and it never will be because there will ALWAYS be people who abuse it. Why not make YOUR tiny little corner of the internet (your blog) a positive one. Take everything with a grain of salt, and know that not everyone is out to get you.
Also, keep in mind that you can’t hear someones tone when you are reading a message. Sometimes people are genuinely just trying to be nice, and wanting to tell you that they find you attractive.. without sexualizing, or objectifying you, as Faye talked about.